Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
