the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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