Umm I'm too high to move.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
