It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
