i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
