omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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