I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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