Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
