i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize