I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
