I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
