I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
