If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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