The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
