I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
