But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
