if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
