How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
