Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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