Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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