to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just found a bag of teeth...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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