so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
