I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
