i don't like sucking hair
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
