Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
