i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
