So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
