how can u be prego again
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize