that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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