Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
