I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
