I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
