Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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