I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
