i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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