if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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