Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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