I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize