You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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