he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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