Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
