I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize