I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize