need another drink. this is the easiest way
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
