I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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