I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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