My nipple is on Facebook.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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