bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
