She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
