Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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