He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize