I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
