i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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