i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All the doctor said was why
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
