Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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