Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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