Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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