Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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