I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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