bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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