A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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