you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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