Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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