What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
