Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
