forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
