I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
