So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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