We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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