he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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