Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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